Alexis Pereira

This morning, three random people in a row took my picture.

Now, I must iterate and reiterate that I don’t mind strangers taking my picture. Not only do I hope to one day be famous and have pictures taken of me until I have a nervous breakdown, but I also hope to one day see my awkward 5’11” frame in one of Ari Scott’s wonderful Astoria photographs. 

It’s now the only reason I still live there.

But today I have a lot of important meetings starting at 12, so I had to take an early 10:30am brunch. There’s a little park near my job with eating tables, so I sat there in a suit, eating an egg sandwich, composing a masterful tweet. Then the first person took my picture.

This person seemed to be a tourist. Maybe Swedish? She had a smaller camera that girls took to Sweet 16s when I was a kid. But I kinda just smiled and went back to my phone.

A few minutes later, I sensed somebody else looking at me, and I looked up to see a woman just staring at me as she walked past the park. I looked down for a moment, and when I looked up again she was pointing a giant camera at me. This time I didn’t smile, mostly because I was surprised. She took her picture and was on her way.

Finally, when I finished my sandwich and was just finishing up my coffee about 5 minutes later, I saw another guy with an even bigger camera pointing at me. I didn’t even look up at him (which may have led to a better picture) and promptly threw out my garbage and left.

Someday, in two museums and one Swedish Facebook album, there will be a picture of me under the title, “Even Squares in Suits Take Breaks.”